Just Another Evangelion Fanfiction 2: Crossover Boogaloo
by ThatMairyGuy
Summary: Why isn't it enough that Shinji fights monsters? Now there's a robot lion in the basement, a shirtless ghost in his head, two identical girls that maintain they're different and the list just keeps growing every week. Why is NERV taking this so easily? Surely they've never had the moon turn into something capable of leveling planets. Actually, nevermind that last bit.
1. Sequel? Prequel? Prologue!

**AN at end. Seriously, this opening is pretty cool I think, I've been sitting on it for months now just waiting to get the rest of the chapter done.**

There was a time, long ago, when Mankind lived in fear of their gods. They would bow and scrape to YHWH, fearful of his wrath; sailors would sacrifice animals to Poseidon, mindful of his oceans; holy men would gouge out another man's heart in tribute to Huitzilpochtli, hoping for the next sunrise.

But not even a god may live forever; as swiftly and Humanity can raise one god atop a pedestal, it is torn down in service to the next. Sometimes the gods chosen for worship existed entirely within one man's mind, other times they held their own power of the Heavens against us, but always the cycle goes on and new gods are brought forth into the light. As is the tendency of Mankind, the cycle born from their fickle hearts is just as susceptible to capriciousness as Humanity itself.

But one day, the cruel world's cycle had to end.

One day, the world ended.

15 years later, as Mankind was building a new world from the ashes of the old one, the gods within Heaven returned. These gods were not born to serve the cycle, and as Mankind turned away, their retribution was swift. As these gods visited Armageddon upon them, Humanity refused to pass silently into the night, for on that day 15 years ago they had seen the truth of these new gods.

Humanity is arrogant. They knew their enemy, their powers, and when they next strike at us, the fury of Mankind shall strike back.

In the new world of Mankind, we need no other gods than those we make for ourselves, from ourselves.

That is the promise of Humanity.

That is the promise of Evangelion.

* * *

_You Thought This Was by a Decent Author? Too Bad! It's Just Me, Mairy!  
_

* * *

Every month, Shinji's father would call.

Every month, his father would ask how he'd been going at school.

Every month, Shinji was reminded that his father genuinely cared for him, even though his work meant he couldn't be there for him.

His father hadn't called this month. It was because of this, that when he was sent to the front desk in the middle of the school day, he hadn't expected to see his father waiting for him, a small armada of black cars outside the school gates.

Even though summer break had just ended the men standing by the cars were dressed almost entirely in black suits; even his father was wearing a strange black jacket with gold trim over a red turtleneck. Taking the initiative, Gendo Ikari was succinct and to the point.

"I know this is sudden Shinji, and I know you may not like me very much, but I need your help." He said, pushing his glasses slightly higher up his nose.

Gendo Ikari is a very succinct man.

"Is there a reason you need me Father? Wouldn't someone else be better for a job involving NERV?" Shinji glanced around the room, there were several other men standing at each entryway, all of them wearing the same 'black jacket with black tie and white shirt' ensemble that was all the rage with the salary-men these days. And most days, it was just about the only thing they wore to work.

"I have my reasons."

Shinji looked down at the floor, he'd never been able to meet his father's gaze for too long. "Do I have a choice?"

"In some things, but not others. I can let you make the choice in your own time, but no matter what happens, you're coming with me to Tokyo-3."

"I should tell my uncle; do I get to pack my things?"

"I stopped by in the morning, he's already packed your things."

* * *

_..._

* * *

There was silence in the cavalcade of cars as they wove their way across the Japanese countryside. Shinji's father had taken the lead car, saying he would need to make many private calls on the way. Shinji understood this; his father _was_ the head of NERV and answered directly to the United Nations. Shinji took the second car in the convoy, leaving the third to serve as a pack horse for nearly all of Shinji's clothes and personal effects.

Opening his school bag and retrieving his father's old SDAT player, Shinji stared out the window and watched the road go by.

* * *

_..._

* * *

Tokyo-3 was not a city used to cars. There were roads, certainly, and cars to drive on them, but not many did. With many of the city's inhabitants working down in the Geofront or the offices above it, almost everyone took the train. Thus it was that the three black sedans driving through the city were well remarked by the 300 or so students attending the Tokyo-3 Municipal District Middle and Senior School. Shinji looked about in wonder as they passed through the streets filled with retractable buildings and diverted course to one of the Geofront's many vehicle entrances.

They left the cars in a small area just away from the massive set of tracks that ferried the cars down this far, opting to walk the rest of the way on foot. When they passed into one of the better lit areas of the massive underground structure, a blonde woman in a doctor's coat started approaching them from the other end of the very long corridor, a strangely blue-haired girl in tow.

When the two groups met, Shinji began to notice some things about the two women. For one thing, the older woman didn't seem to be naturally blonde, given the brown strands cut short at her ears. For another, the younger one was pale, almost unnaturally so. In fact, Shinji would say that she was an albino given her-she's seen you looking at her she has red eyes that's creepy oh shit oh shit!

"Commander, the tests on Unit-00 are complete, we should be ready for activation any day now." The woman said.

"That's good."

"We could swap Commander." The woman replied, casting her gaze over Shinji. "You take Rei and do your thing, I'll take Shinji off and do some testing."

"Not right now Doctor Akagi, Shinji hasn't made his decision yet." Shinji's father didn't let so much as an errant hair twitch out of place when he spoke to this woman, which spoke a great deal of his ability to handle under pressure and not give into grief and clone his wi-nevermind.

"You brought him all the way down here and he hasn't even made a choice? You may be going soft in your old age Commander."

"I'm simply allowing him to make a more informed decision Doctor. In fact, I'll take Rei with me; we're going to the Cages."

"You're the Commander, you don't need my permission." The woman smiled and gave a small push to the blue-haired girl at her side, urging her to walk to Shinji's father. "And of course, where are my manners; hello there Shinji, I'm Doctor Akagi. Pleased to meet you."

"P-pleased to meet you too Doctor." Shinji said, extending a quick 'hello' to the blue-haired girl that was now at his father's other side. The woman walked around the enlarged group and made her exit, giving Shinji a quick warning.

"When you get to the Cages, don't fall in."

* * *

_..._

* * *

It wasn't hard to avoid the red pool in the Cages, Shinji found it harder avoiding the red eyes of the girl that had joined them. It was also pretty hard to not notice the giant robot.

"_This_ is why I no longer keep pictures of your mother; she left this behind as her legacy." Shinji's father said, never taking his eyes off the purple and green giant standing shoulders-deep in red liquid.

"It's certainly a big legacy." Shinji noted, entirely tautologous with what his father was about to say.

"When you're creating something to stop the kind of being capable of Second Impact, you tend to build big."

"I get the feeling that's something you should have said _after_ you revealed a big truth about Second Impact." Shinji pointed out. That earned him a chuckle from his father.

"I suppose I should have. Starting at the beginning then; Second Impact was actually caused by a being so powerful we called it an Angel. We also found that it wasn't alone. In some uncertain amount of time after Second Impact, more would be coming. NERV was created so that humanity would be ready and the Evangelion Units were created so that we could survive." When his father was finished Shinji became acutely aware of several sets of eyes bearing down on him. His father was expecting a question or two, the girl he guessed was Rei had been staring at him the entire time and he was fairly certain the giant robot was looking at him.

"Why me? Just because I'm your son doesn't mean I should be the one to do all these things."

"The Evangelion operates by overlaying the consciousness of a human pilot over its own, the fickle nature of the human brain means very few are actually capable. Rei here is one of those, and if you agree to it, so will you."

So that was it.

"I really am nothing to you. You didn't come to see me because you wanted to, you just needed to use me. You don't want me in Tokyo-3 for my own sake, you just want me nearby in case I change my mind. Is that it?"

"If that is what you choose to believe, then I will not stop you. You can leave here and forget everything you saw, you'll go to a school here in Tokyo-3 and live in an apartment away from anyone that works here. Just remember this: nearly three billion people died as a result of Second Impact and now you're condemning the rest of humanity to death just because you think I'm using you."

* * *

_..._

* * *

"Settle down class, I have someone to introduce." With a wave of the teacher's hand, Shinji was summoned into the class. "This is your new classmate, Shinji Rokubungi. Play nice now."

The class had never settled; it was only the second day of school after summer break, meaning many students still had the wrong sleep pattern, even the teacher. As soon as Shinji had written his name on the board just about everyone went back to sleep, save the blue-haired girl from yesterday. One of the few people still awake was a boy wearing glasses waving a camera about. This strange boy began to eagerly point at the seat in front of him, which judging by his actions was empty for a reason.

"Sit next to Aida I guess." The teacher mumbled sleepily. "Whatever floats your goat."

* * *

_..._

* * *

When the lunch period rolled around Shinji approached the girl, intending to gain some insight into the workings of NERV's Child Labour Department.

"I uh, didn't catch your name yesterday, but I think you got mine." He said, bending down near the girl's desk to put his eyes closer to her level.

"I did. My name is Rei Ayanami." The girl kept looking out the window, not turning to face him at all.

"Di-did my father say anything after I left? He didn't seem too happy, though he never really does." That much was true; his phone calls were never the most cheery of occasions, but his father had never seemed outright angry or displeased.

"He said that I am not to speak to you unless you change your mind." Ayanami said.

An arm came around Shinji's shoulder from both sides, one from Aida and the other from someone Shinji would guess was Aida's best and only friend in the class. "You need to learn something about Tokyo-3, new kid. First rule: If a man in a black suit says to get in his van, you get in. Second rule: That man works for NERV and has ten other guys like him somewhere nearby. Third rule: Ayanami has those guys following her everywhere she goes, so she's not to be messed with."

"I suppose I should just go then."

* * *

_..._

* * *

It went on like this for three weeks: every day at school he would look at Ayanami with guilty eyes and every day Toji and Kensuke would make fun of him for what they thought was 'young love'. The woman living in the apartment next door revealed herself to be NERV staff the second day after he had moved in, citing her authority as his possible superior.

The only change in the new routine was a call bounced to his apartment by NERV's communications line.

"Is this Lord Dumbass?" the voice on the other end said in slightly-accented Japanese.

"I don't know what you mean. My name is Shinji Ik-uh, Rokubungi, I'm no one special." Shinji replied, obviously ill-at-ease about the person calling.

"Don't give me that crap, I know you're the Commander's son and I know you chickened out."

"H-how do you know that?"

"Because I'm with NERV too, and I hope for your sake that by the time my Eva is sent to Japan you've gone and gotten yourself crushed by falling debris when you were running away!"

The person on the other end of the line hung up. Hearing the laughter of the woman next door through the thin walls of their apartments, Shinji realised that probably _was_ just a ruse to get him to agree to his father's terms; parade enough damsels that may end up in distress and the hero should react.

* * *

_..._

* * *

Just over one month after having come to Tokyo-3 his father came to see him personally.

"I need to you to see something, you don't have a choice in this matter." The moment his father turned to leave, two men in dark suits grabbed Shinji by the arms and dragged him along to the car waiting on the street.

The walk through the Geofront was surprisingly swift, his father swiping his card in several elevators to access floors lower than most NERV staff thought existed. Ayanami was waiting for them, laying in a wheeled bed almost mummified by bandages.

"There are two secrets that NERV keeps from the entire world, even most of the United Nations. The first is the secret of Rei Ayanami's birth, the second is why exactly Tokyo-3 was built here and why we are so sure the Angels will come to us. I won't show you the second until I think you're ready, but I feel it's better for you to see the first now." Shinji's father didn't turn to speak to him, he just walked out of the elevator and dismissed his escort.

Followed by the single doctor pushing Ayanami's bed, his father led Shinji to a large, circular room dominated by a mass of tubes funnelling into a single glass pipe in the centre. Shooing away the doctor and making sure the door was locked tight, Gendo began to explain the purpose of the room.

"This place was constructed in secret on the order of your mother, less than a year before her death. It can be considered her side project to leading the team that made Evangelion Unit-01. In the early days of Project E, one of the first things we realised was the difficulties in creating an adequate control system. After much deliberation, we settled on the system currently in effect: a pilot synchronising themselves with the mind of the Eva. Your mother, however, was not convinced that a single human could create a imprint on the Eva to effectively pilot without suffering mental burnout. So she began to work on a way to manufacture pilots able to synchronise with the Eva with very little chance of mental contamination. By combining her own DNA with the harvested flesh of the same Angel being used to augment Unit-01, she aimed to produce a batch of cloned humans ideal for a harmonious personality imprint with the Eva. I won't bore you with the details of how she accelerated the first four years of growth, you just need to know the ending of the story. Shortly before her death, your mother told her old teacher, Professor Fuyutsuki, about this room. When he first came here, he found all of her notes and a single live specimen. Within a year, that specimen had died of organ failure, but enough modifications were made based on the notes we found that successive generations of clones would live as long as a human could. What you see on that bed is the result of your mother's literal blood, sweat and tears; the second Rei Ayanami, the perfect Evangelion Pilot."

With just a wave of his arm, the lights in the room came on, revealing the circular walls to be a giant aquarium filled with naked copies of the Rei Ayanami currently laying on the bed. Averting his gaze to look at the floor and only the floor, Shinji tried to question his father.

"If you've got this many clones that can be the perfect pilot, why did you need me?"

His father kept his gaze resolutely on Shinji's head, even though it was now bowed. "We were able to improve on your mother's work in the creation of the clones, but the ability to create a proper personality was lost with your mother. The only thing we could do is transfer the mind of the first live specimen to a new body when the first decayed. What you see in that 'aquarium' is just useless meat; the second generation of Ayanami bodies that we didn't give a soul to. We're just keeping them in case on spontaneously develops an individual mind that can be of use to us."

"Then why are you showing me all this?" Shinji lifted his head for an instant, then remembered where he was

"I didn't need to show you, I could have just told you. By refusing to pilot Evangelion Unit-01, you're condemning your own sister to death."

"Aren't you condemning your son or daughter either way?"

"Rei contains none of my genetic material, I only consider her something to be used against Mankind's enemies."

Hearing his father's callous disregard for a human life, Shinji began to leave, but his sleeve was caught as he passed by Ayanami's bed. "You don't have to do this alone." She said.

"I can't." Shinji whispered. "I can't do this for you, I can't do keep running away. What should I do?" He couldn't just get into a giant monster robot and fight Angels, that wasn't what humans were supposed to do. He couldn't do it alone. But this girl, Rei, she was human, she felt pain, she knew how to _live_. She was human, she was supposed to fight Angels on her own.

"Fight alongside her." His father said, for once moving from his spot right next to the tube to place a hand on Shinji's shoulder. "You don't ever have to fight alone. You don't ever have to run away."

"I'll do it, alright." Shinji said, knowing somewhere in his heart that he'd been manipulated into doing what he wanted to do all along. "I'll pilot the Eva."

* * *

AN: This is it, my magnum opus. Not _really_ a sequel, I just find the title to fit very well with the idea of the series. When I told a friend about this being the biggest clusterfuck crossover I could actually produce and be coherent he took that as a challenge. Now, at some point in time, he'll be writing a crossover story so utterly terrible I'm a character in it. I just helped him edit the prologue a few hours ago, half decent at least. Now back to more serious business.

The crossing over won't happen until Shamshel, Angel of Dildo-whips, but I like to set the scene. Until that time, your required reading is:

The warnings gone now, no one can save you. Only I remain, and I won't show mercy like she did.

I think that's enough, don't you? I myself will be taking hiatuses on writing this to re-read/watch source materials, then a larger hiatus before I get to Gaghiel. Gaghiel is the big one, it's when I think this really kicks into gear, and I want to finish up EVERY other story I'm writing except 'Because a Short Title is too Boring'. Until that time, I'll be dropping hints as to the reveal all over the place. If you can figure it out and you AREN'T one of the three people that know already, goddamn you're good.


	2. Lies and Slander

Rei's injured, which means the time to Sachiel is rapidly ticking down. She's calling Shinji by some very close names, which is a fairly visible death flag. The game's next week and THE PROM IS TOMORROW!

As an actual note, I'm not going to use honorifics or words/phrases that are easily translatable. I maintain the same stance on that as I do in Just Another, and it will only be in the humourous situations that I will relent.

* * *

_Robot Ninja Kamina is now Canon  
_

* * *

The training began soon after, nearly every day after school he would go down to the Geofront and be shut inside a metal tube filled with a breathable orange liquid. Shinji found it getting harder by the day to keep his new occupation secret, but his next door neighbour, Misato, solved at least half of that problem by herself. One afternoon, when he was given time off from training in the purple beast that was now his Unit, Toji and Kensuke decided to invite themselves to his apartment. Misato, having taken the day off for 'illness' and not 'hangover', heard him come home and invited herself over too.

"A good afternoon to you, Master Ikari." She said, her voice adopting a haughty tone. "I'll see myself out." She continued, never making it through the entryway under Shinji's glare. A moment later, Toji turned himself back to face Shinji after having twisted his entire spine around the chair.

"Ignoring the whole 'how is she such a babe' part of the conversation for the moment, Ikari?"

"It's my actual surname. My father had me live here under a different name to protect both of us." Shinji's words were heavily punctuated by sighs.

Toji put his hands forward in a way that that said he was trying to grasp a fundamental thread of thought this conversation had brought forth. "Your dad runs NERV!" He exclaimed.

"Yes." Shinji replied, trying to ignore Kensuke's devotion to getting a closeup of his left cheek. "Can you keep this a secret?"

"Depends, do you have men in black suits following you everywhere?" Kensuke asked, managing to talk over the knock at the door. Toji, being closer, went to answer it.

"He does."

* * *

_..._

* * *

Three days later, after Shinji had finished off another session of 'don't drown in orange juice', he decided to visit his sister in the Geofront's hospital wing. He had to ask a nurse wandering the halls for directions, but he eventually found the room he was supposed to enter.

"Hello." He said as he entered. "Thought you could do with some company."

"You were lied to." Ayanami said the moment she noticed him, not turning her face away from the window. "I am more closely based on genetic material from your mother than I should be to be called your sister."

Shinji smirked. "You know, that's not really that bad, I thought you meant you weren't even a clone or something." He walked over to the bedside and took a seat. "But even if you're my aunt or my cousin or my sister or something I want to help you and be your friend I guess."

"Despite the advances Doctor Akagi has made with your mother's notes, this body will begin to break down before I reach twenty-five. Can you help that? As my nephew, my cousin or brother?"

Shinji reached across the bed and took Rei's uninjured hand in his own two. "I don't know if I can help with that, I don't know enough to make you live longer. But I can stop these Angels. I don't care that my father is manipulating me any more, if I defeat all the Angels then they can spend more time on making you live longer."

Rei looked down at her hand in a slight shock. But she maintained her composure. "If all the Angels are defeated, then logically I will be left to die, being the artificially generated piloting system."

Shinji gave a troubled smile, tears welling up in his eyes. "I know it's silly for me to be this attached to you, but you can't want to just die like that. Nobody does." Shinji reached into his bag, withdrawing a small brown book. "I didn't know if you read much, so I just got you a book the librarian said would be alright. I mean, I'm your older brother or whatever, so I figured I should get you something."

"I suppose 'thank you' is the correct response? Thank you, o-onii-san."

"Ok saying it like that sounds weird, maybe just call me Shinji."

"Agreed."

There was silence between the two for a moment, Shinji unsure of his perceived relationship with Rei and Rei unsure of why emotions were a thing. Shinji took it upon himself to break the awkward silence that he had caused.

"If it's not to forward of me to ask, why _are_ you so badly injured?"

Rei took a moment to think of an adequate response. "Evangelion Unit-00 is the original prototype, created merely to test our ability to create an Eva. In the hopes that we would both pilot an Eva each, the Commander had the control system updated and tested. As I am an artificial being _designed_ to synchronise with the Eva, I was used as a test pilot. Unit-00 went berserk and caused serious damage to the simulation facility."

"It's that dangerous when you're just testing it? If Unit-01 is that much more stable, why is my father trying to use Unit-00?"

"I wasn't wounded by the Eva; the plug ejection mechanism wasn't designed to work within such a small area. These injuries are the result of falling fifty metres in near-boiling LCL. If there was nothing else, you can go."

Shinji looked shocked for a moment, then rose from the chair. "If I'm too boring, you can just tell me." With a smile, Shinji turned to go. "Get well soon, I don't particularly want to doom humanity with my incompetence."

* * *

_..._

* * *

The old man Shinji passed in the hallway caught his shoulder and began to speak. "You've been lied to." He said.

"Ayanami already said that. Is this something different?"

"Of course it is." The old man smiled with wry sadism. "Everyone at NERV will lie to you about something. I, for example, had nothing to do with Rei's development, against what your father would like you to believe. I suppose it's for the best that we get the big lies out of the way now."

Shinji looked at the old man that he surmised was Professor Fuyutsuki. "And what lie will you tell me?"

"Your shirt is pink." Fuyutsuki said, continuing on his merry way through the labyrinth that was NERV.

* * *

_..._

* * *

Commander Gendo Ikari waited patiently in his office for his Sub-Commander, not a single implement on the desk moving out of place, all three of them. Kozou Fuyutsuki entered through the main doors, traversing the cavernous space to stand directly across from the desk.

"I take it you've had your fun? You didn't do any lasting damage I hope."

"None at all sir. In fact, the Third Child likely believes myself and the First Child to be the only trustworthy people that work with NERV."

"What of our new Operations Director? Surely she has her own motives for the Angels."

"Aside from destroying them, I doubt she even cares what they're for."

* * *

_..._

* * *

A few days later Shinji received a message from NERV just as he was about to leave for school. It wasn't the same as the usual time-only format that told him when to be at a Synch test; this one had actual words. Checking the sender number again, Shinji tried to find some reason for NERV to begin using coherent sentences in their messages.

'DON'T GO TO SCHOOL.' It read, 'IT'S NEARLY HERE.' The next line elucidated.

In a state of mild confusion, Shinji almost dropped the phone when it began to ring. It never rang.

"Hello, Rokubungi speaking."

"Shinji, it's Lieutenant Hyuuga, I'm with the Operations crew on the bridge." The man was familiar to him, he at least remembered his voice from the various people speaking during a Synch test. "Someone just bounced a message through the Geofront's communication grid. We don't know who sent it, but come down to the Geofront anyway just in case."

"What about school?" Shinji asked, actually sort of wanting to go for once.

"Nevermind that, this may be an Angel or just a scare, but it's better for you to be ready either way."

* * *

_..._

* * *

The best guess turned out to be the correct guess. It took a lot of waiting, but an hour before school would have let out an emergency situation was declared by the JSDF. Then followed another hour and a half of watching the U.N. Armed Forces try to hold off the Angel. With the permission of his father, someone routed the feed from the automated defenses to Unit-01. Shinji effectively had a front-row seat to the spectacle of the Angel, a giant green humanoid, lancing several VTOLs with pink spears that grew from its hands. It avoided, where it could, the individual air defenses, electing to make extended jumps across the landscape. When an N2 mine was dropped on it to little effect, the combined JSDF-U.N. committee authorised the use of the Evangelion.

Shinji launched to intercept the Angel on one of the many rail catapults running from the Geofront to the city above. He'd spent a long time trying to memorise all the weapon supply points, external power points and defense hard-points for when he eventually went into battle, but his mind was blank now.

_Fight, survive, win._

**BE WORTHY**

* * *

_..._

* * *

"Doctor Akagi, there's an abnormal pulse flow on the psychograph." Lieutenant Ibuki called out, inciting her superior to approach the display. Tapping the display with a pen, Akagi verified its legitimacy, then thought on its meaning.

"Its passing directly through the audio centre. If this is generated by an outside force, they have a very good understanding of the human mind."

"Is this something that needs sharing, Doctor?" Gendo said, his voice calm as he watched his own son fight against the monster.

"Something is causing stimulus in the pilot's brain, I believe it's causing him auditory hallucinations. Your orders?"

"Remain as you were, until the pilot is negatively affected by this, we shouldn't interfere."

So NERV just watched. They watched as Unit-01 fled the Angel to take cover behind a building. They watched as Shinji held his hands to his ears to block the sounds out.

They watched as the Synch ratio dropped to zero.

They watched as the Evangelion kept moving.

Gendo watched with a smile on his face.

* * *

_..._

* * *

Shinji didn't recognise the ceiling when he woke up. He didn't know exactly where he was, but if he had to hazard a guess he was in the Geofront hospital. Less than an hour after he had woken there was a nurse tending to him and ensuring his faculties were unimpaired. Once that was over, Doctor Akagi came into the room and began to ask him questions, many of them based on the voice he had heard while fighting the Angel.

"It kept saying I wasn't worthy, and that it would make me worthy. Was it the Angel?"

"We don't know, but until we _do_ know, tell us anything you remember." Doctor Akagi began to scribble things on her clipboard, but Shinji couldn't see what she was writing from where he was.

"I'll try Doctor. Was there anything else?"

"Not at the moment Shinji. Misato will be around in a while to take you home, so just rest easy till then." Doctor Akagi smiled then walked out the door, leaving Shinji alone with his thoughts.

And the squeaking, clicking sound that accompanies someone walking on crutches

* * *

_..._

* * *

Misato dropped the stack of papers onto Ritsuko's desk, the blast of wind they kicked up flipping over the other scattered pages the good doctor had open.

"Do you mind telling me what these are about? And don't lie, I know you're riding his dick."

Ritsuko stubbed out her cigarette in the ash tray. "What _ever_ could you mean Misato?"

"The Commander's dick; you're riding it. And you're going to tell me why I'm supposed to approve the re-assignment of Rei's housing." Misato said. It was almost possible to see the individual hairs in her nose twitch as she tried to snort menacingly.

"Rei put the case to the Commander that placing her next door or otherwise nearby to Shinji's apartment or yours would make it easier for Section Two's security teams to divvy up men during the night and other suitable times. She had apparently gathered reports from her own security detail on how positively wonderful it would be." Taking out another cigarette, Ritsuko offered one to Misato. Lighting her own, she continued once she was certain Misato didn't want one. "In short, Rei's moving in, there's no free apartments either side and the Commander doesn't trust you to look after Rei."

"The Commander doesn't trust me, but he's putting Rei in with me anyway? Are you literally fucking his brains out?"

Ritsuko sighed. "And _now_ I'm certain you didn't read the whole thing."

"I skimmed it." Misato pouted.

"A good portion of that stack there is about you moving in with Shinji. Tell him when you go pick him up why don't you?" Ritsuko smiled at her old friend, a flick of her eyebrows saying 'you forgot that bit didn't you?'

"Oh god I need to do that too? You didn't say I needed to take him home. Do you know what my prospect for getting laid in this town will be if I say 'Oh no, I can't take you back to mine, I'm looking after a fourteen year old boy'? Just about nil!"

"You shouldn't be worried about finding men in this town, the ones you find are probably Section Two plants to make sure you don't get weird diseases. Besides, Shinji actually knows how to cook, so it's not all bad."

"Fine," Misato said, flicking through the stack to sign the relevant sections. "But I want a second fridge for my beer."

"Non-negotiable, one fridge per apartment. You can bring Pen-Pen's box over though, that doesn't count."

* * *

_Meanwhile, in a parallel universe where Shinji was cool  
_

* * *

As Simon walked away from his own wedding, he wondered what would become of the world. Sure he - the strongest spiral warrior in the known universe - was swearing off outrageous displays of power, but there were a dozen others that could cause just as much devastation.

"Come on Boota, we've got a universe to protect, holes to drill and a grave to dig. Can't take too long with all that." He whispered, directing his words to the small mole-pig riding on his shoulder. For his part, Simon's oldest companion responded with a loud 'buiiiiii'.

Neither of them noticed the illusory girl standing in front of them before they had walked through her.

_You are powerful. Will you help me?_

"You hear that Boota? I'm hearing wei-ok you weren't there before."

_My world is in danger. Will you help me?_

"Don't mean to sound mean or anything, but I already saved all the worlds in the universe." Simon scratched his own head then Boota's in confusion. The girl looked up to the sky which had suddenly darkened. She pointed up to the stars, then to herself.

_My world is beyond any world. Will you help me?_

Simon tried to politely decline. "I just recently gave up fighting to save people in what I assume will be a large-scale war. Sorry, but I'll have to decline." The girl shook her head.

_I don't need your power, I need your spirit. Will you help me?_

"You mean to say you're reaching out across distances I cannot comprehend just to ask me to motivate you?" Simon held his hands out for a moment, then withdrew them.

_Yes. Will you help me?_

A voice spoke up from behind Simon. This voice was older, weathered with age.

"My answer is the same as twenty years ago: sure thing!"

The girl smiled then, the first real emotion Simon had seen from her. She held a hand out to the side and _twisted_, bringing reality to a point of great strain. With a great struggle she opened a hole through space, beyond even what could be achieved with spiral power. With a flick of her wrist, the girl flung at Simon, encasing him in the void between worlds.

* * *

_Meanwhile, in a parallel universe where Kamina was a police car  
_

* * *

A collapsing wormhole leading to a replicated solar system. Not the best of places to die, but it certainly beat losing to the Primevals, or letting the 11 Solar Masters turn the entire universe inside out just because of their programming. They'd sent Mamoru and Kaido off through the rapidly closing exit and consigned themselves to their fate. Guy was there, holding Mikoto in his arms, when time slowed to a halt.

"You're quite a courageous man. Care to jump back into the fray and save another world?" The voice came from within his own mind, but he also sensed it had an origin point outside of himself. Outside the small escape craft, resting on the bow of the J-Ark, was GaoGaiGar. Sitting on the front of the chest piece that was Galeon was a boy, barely into his teens. Even though he was so far away, it was quite obvious that he was looking at Guy and Guy alone. "I'm representing a power greater than anything you could comprehend through human methods, but we find ourselves in need of assistance. I also found _you_ in need of a purpose."

The boy rose from his position and flew towards the ship. He stepped through the reinforced glass of the impromptu bridge as if it wasn't there at all. The boy smiled a curious smile, then tapped Guy on the forehead.

The effect was instant.

"Galeoria Road, is it not? I think I have just what you need and more."

Space ripped and reformed, a single point extending to infinity. The receding wormhole quickly reversed and twisted. A tunnel through space made anew. The boy pulled, and Guy came along with him.

* * *

Hey, I just had a thought. since a Lilin's A.T. Field is insular, in certain terms, would Shinji be able to see a Shinigami from the Bleach-verse? I was thinking, since Bleach-verse souls are about emission and diffusion and A.T. Fields are about keeping things out, would Shinji even be able to see a high-level reishi being?

What I mean is, would Shinji be able to punch out Aizen, even when he's a transcendent butterfly monster?

AHAHAHAHAHA, YOU ALL THOUGHT IT WOULD BE ICHIGO, DIDN'T YOU?

YOUR TEARS ARE DELICIOUS.


End file.
